• MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY, This is the SS United States of America, SS United States of America, SS United States of America
  • MAYDAY, MY POSITION IS Due north of Mexico and Due South of Canada (except for Hawaii and Alaska of course)
  • I AM dividing uncontrollably sinking in a sea of debt and there is no one at the helm WITH  over 311 million PERSONS ON BOARD, I REQUIRE IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE

Silence fills the airwaves as an increasingly agitated communicator tries to establish the urgency of this tragedy. He tries again and again switching over to the International Morse code signals of SOS… SOS… SOS…

Static on the airwaves.

Finally, a soft voice meekly responds: “Bonjour Masseurs, eh, what seems to be ze problem?”

“We are sinking fast and we don’t have enough life boats. The pumps have finally given out, the crew refuses to continue to bail and the leadership team just left on the only big blue plane we had left. How quickly can you come rescue us?”

More silence on the airwaves…

“But Masseur, we were about to ask for your help (again). “


And that’s how it ends.

Happy May Day.


  1. That is indeed how it ends, because the lifeboats have all been used to rescue the rest of the world. The passengers on this ship really believed it was unsinkable. And so it will end with the unanswered signal: dididit dahdahdah dididit didahdidahdidah dahdahdah dididah dah

    1. ah, the melody of that old song… I actually used to know morse code from my Boy Scout days. Sadly, those brain cells were condemned to give their lives in service to their country in a place called Bangkok Thailand back in the day.

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