- MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY, This is the SS United States of America, SS United States of America, SS United States of America
- MAYDAY, MY POSITION IS Due north of Mexico and Due South of Canada (except for Hawaii and Alaska of course)
- I AM dividing uncontrollably sinking in a sea of debt and there is no one at the helm WITH over 311 million PERSONS ON BOARD, I REQUIRE IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE
Silence fills the airwaves as an increasingly agitated communicator tries to establish the urgency of this tragedy. He tries again and again switching over to the International Morse code signals of SOS… SOS… SOS…
Static on the airwaves.
Finally, a soft voice meekly responds: “Bonjour Masseurs, eh, what seems to be ze problem?”
“We are sinking fast and we don’t have enough life boats. The pumps have finally given out, the crew refuses to continue to bail and the leadership team just left on the only big blue plane we had left. How quickly can you come rescue us?”
More silence on the airwaves…
“But Masseur, we were about to ask for your help (again). “
And that’s how it ends.
Happy May Day.