Angus and Rufus in 2012

I was reading VP Biden’s guest column in the Des Moines Register this morning and of course having lots of fun with the liberals who were posting comments of support. The easy part is, all you have to do is cut and paste any of Obama’s own words from his wide array of speeches and you can pretty well trash any argument but one: It apparently is still George’s Fault.

Back on another thread, Governor Romney was quoted as saying he thought the VP’s comments were “astonishing”.

I looked that word up since I normally have a differing view of what it means. Webster and Merriam’s both use the same terms to describe the root word for astonishing: to strike with sudden and usually great wonder or surprise.

I guess I am kind of astonished that the presumed front runner in the primary (and his staff who actually read the article) could come up with such a wimpy word. It kind of reminds me of the hell I personally went through in the last Presidential campaign where it appeared that the first rule in McCain’s camp was to avoid anything that highlighted the gross distortions and outright lies that the opposition were spreading on a daily basis. It’s like déjà vu all over again here in the heartland.

One of the comments on my favorite web site was from a fellow conservative who was worried about the choices we have this time around. He bemoaned the fact that even Newt was a weak candidate. Well, what he actually said was that his dog could beat Newt. After encouraging him to get his dog out there as quickly as possible, it occurred to me that I actually have a better idea. The better idea is in the front room sitting on their favorite couch grabbing a noontime nap.

My solution is to get my dogs Angus and Rufus into the race.

We have to send Joe back to Delaware and Barry back to a place of his choice in November’s election. In eight days, we will be down to less than a year. This plan is almost foolproof and will reach across all of the current divides.

First, let me describe the boys. Angus is black which is still a little unusual for a Republican so he will draw in a segment we are weak in. He has a great temperament and is a real go getter. He rarely sits down preferring to manage everything in his domain. He has mastered the Sit-Paw-Smile maneuver so he will be great at campaign rally events. He is persistent in all of his activities and can uncover every treat hiding place. He learned at a very early age not to take treats from strangers so we won’t have to be overly worried about him being influenced by lobbyists.

Rufus is brown which gives us a strong Latino appeal at just the right moment. He is a lot more thoughtful than Angus and can be counted on to bring a solution to most common problems. Unlike Angus though, he can be very aggressive when someone needs that kind of response. He is a no nonsense kind of guy and will be a strong and powerful voice. (Neighbors four doors down from us can attest to that when a rabbit foolishly enters our yard; another real plus since he will not allow himself to have a Jimmy Carter moment at the wrong time).

The boys are American born and we just figured out that they are over forty (in dog years anyway). I checked the Constitutional requirements and the only fuzzy part may be the use of the term “No person shall” and so on. While in the past dogs are considered to be part of the canine breed, I could make a strong case that they have achieved “Person” status in this day and age. Why you ask? Well, simple. Look at the millions of people who dress their dogs in sweaters and funny clothes. How many people do you know that talk to their dogs and actually believe that they can understand? (Frankly it’s the same as talking with most politicians anyway… you say lower taxes, they hear raise them higher). Finally, how many of you have stockings for your dogs? Doesn’t that give further credibility since why would Santa bring treats to a mere dog???

The boys work well together most of the time. Once when they were very young they managed to empty an entire roll of toilet paper from our house into the backyard. This feat is even more amazing since they had to drag the paper around the corner, through the doggie door and down their ramp to the yard. They were both sitting in the yard with mouthfuls of TP when we discovered them. But talk about the problem solving and teamwork that had to have been applied.

I am not sure which will be which office at this point. On any given occasion, their roles as Alpha dog can switch but Rufus seems to be the one who has been getting the better of Angus more often now. Fortunately both boys were fixed a long time ago and we are almost positive we don’t have to worry about any surprises showing up on our doorstep. They can tell the difference between right and wrong and frankly would not be an embarrassment to our country around the world.

Loyal, dependable, fierce at the right times, regal in stature and an unblemished record (except for the toilet paper caper which happened in North Carolina which I am pretty sure has a law which protects that).

Just in case things go horribly wrong in the future after they are elected and China calls in its debts, we have one more card to play. Both boys are Chinese Shar Peis which will mean they are probably already acceptable to our new owners.

I invite you to join me in this new campaign. We do not need money, just your support.

If Ron Paul can do it, we can too!

Angus and Rufus 2012:

The Change you can finally believe in!