Where have you been?

I have to admit it’s been a few days since my last post and considering the nature of that post, some of my readers may have wondered if I had been selected for early admission to the nearest FEMA camp. No such luck (at least not yet). We have been spending a lot of time working on our new business and doing some training to support that.

Some might think I am quite insane trying to start a business in this climate and frankly some days I think I might agree with them. But I have been watching closely and according to the AP there are some positive signs starting to show up in the country.

Here’s a short list:

Gas prices have finally started to stabilize according to the Department of Energy

President Obama has signed off on the Keystone Pipeline and shale oil will be flowing south very soon

The EPA has finally decided that ANWAR isn’t all that sensitive after all and the new technology available will protect the environment

The Department of Health and Human Services have reportedly found a gazillion dollars in fraud which will help to offset the new costs of Obama Care. This will also allow the Federal Department of Sex to provide an unlimited supply of birth control to every Girl Scout troop in America

After a shaky start, people are lining up by the droves to pick up their new Chevy Volt

Occupy Wall street has volunteered to come and clean up the messes they made and take classes in Good Citizenship from the American Legion

Michelle and the Girls have announced that until the economy really improves, they are cutting down to ten vacations this year

With Don’t ask, Don’t tell finally gone, the wars overseas have all ended. No one seems to be interested in fighting anymore. There will be a massive same-sex kiss off in New York upon their return

Ahmadinejad has apologized to the Israelis and ordered the complete destruction of his nuclear program. He Thanks Obama for his wise leadership

The Russians and Chinese have agreed to support the UN and stop the senseless violence in Syria. Upon hearing that, Assad calls Obama and tells him he is leaving power. Putin calls Obama and tells him that he has decided that for the good of Russia, he will resign and retire to his dachau. He thanks Obama for his encouragement during the tough times.

The Arab Spring has resulted in an age of enlightenment in the middle east and women are being asked to help mediate the old disputes and …

Wait, what?

None of that stuff actually happened? Crap… I am in so much trouble.

Anybody need some stationary and business cards???

(Maybe they will let me check into the camp early)


Mister Mac

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