First an apology

I have been absent without leave for a month or so. We have been doing a lot of doctor visits on our way to becoming VA rated as a service connected disability veteran. That has involved many trips and examinations and frankly getting a lot of others things in order while we went through this part of our journey. I am incredibly grateful for the people who have worked with me tirelessly to get this done. Not the least of which is Matt Zamosky who is the Westmoreland County Department of Veterans Affirs Director. Matt encouraged me to seek the rating and has been with us every step of the way. I am grateful for his guidance, encouragement and his counsel as I made this decision. I had many conceptions about becoming part of the VA’s patients but I can assure you that all of the people whom i hav ebeen working with have been caring and compassionate. The PACT Act has been a great blessing in our life.

Who made this anyway?

We were doing devotions this morning and the key bible verses came Job. Job is a remarkable book since it challenges us to understand suffering and redemption. Job 38 1-7. This is the King James Version:

38 Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said,

2 Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge?

3 Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me.

4 Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.

5 Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it?

6 Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;

7 When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

This set of verses led us to a long discussion about how intricate creation had to have been.

What God was asking Job was to ponder how a question that is nearly impossible to answer. Who or what as powerful enough to create all of the parts of the world we live in no less the vast universe that surrounds this tiny planet?

If you think about it, the levels of complexity are endless. Thinking about our bodies and how they function, it is a combination of systems that have to act in nearly perfect order for us to survive. We need a perfect balance of oxygen mixed with other gases to sustain life. We need food and water to replenish that which is consumed, processed and used to grow and have strength. If any of these are withheld or delivered in unnatural ways, the body can’t survive.

You need air to survive

There have been reports in the news recently about a Chinese submarine that suffered a catastrophe that all submariners fear. A break down in the life giving oxygen producing equipment compounded by the loss of the ability to rise to the surface. I don’t know if the story is true or not and of course the Chinese are denying it. But below the surface, the submarine interior becomes the life sustaining world needed for humans to survive. Losing the ability to make and distribute oxygen means a certain death. I can’t imagine a worse tragedy for any family than to know their loved ones died without a chance to survive.

Worse case scenarios

I spent many years of my life submerged and used to have dreams about disasters. I still have those dreams every once in a while but gratefully not as often as I used to. Sometimes it was flooding, sometimes fire, once in a while something worse that involved the reactor shutting down on our way to test depth. Most of the time, I would wake up in a sweat and convince myself nothing like this ever happened. But I always trusted that the equipment we operated was the best it could be. Like the world we live in, the creator thought about everything. The One who created me created enough balance in the rest of the world that as long as I did what I was supposed to do, there was enough of a cushion that I would survive.

Machines wear out

But age catches up with us. Even the most well designed machine wears out after a certain amount of time. The cells and organs get beat up over the decades and at some point no longer function as they used to. I remember running for several miles as a younger man and despite the beating my body took, it recovered. It’s been years since the last real run. To be fair, it was the day before I suffered a heart attack ending with some significant damage. A week later they performed a quadruple bypass and a journey of recovery began.

That was twenty one years ago. Since then, I have traveled over many roads that led to London, Paris, Stockholm, Hawaii, Belgium and all around the US.

Skilled mechanics.

Tomorrow morning some very gifted surgeons will try and slow the pace of deterioration of my heart with a surgery that is becoming more and more common. There are some risks as you might expect from any time they work inside your heart. But I feel blessed to live in a time when what they are going to be doing is even possible. We are praying for a good outcome and a chance to finally finish a few projects. But I wanted to thank all of you who have read my work over the years and especially those who took the time to give me feedback.

More than air, food and water… purpose

I mentioned all of the things we need to sustain life but I want to leave you with the one that makes life worth living. For me it is the Gift of Spirituality. It is the understanding that there was something or someone who was greater than my ability to understand how all of this careful balance was achieved. The Creator who made all of the complex mechanisms that allow us to have life. The Creator who gave us life. The Creator who cared so much for his broken little creatures that He sent his only Son to die for us.

It is that last sustaining gift that gives purpose to all of our lives if we let it. The hope for the future. The everlasting promise of eternity that will lead us to a glory we can’t even understand.

I truly hope that the surgeons are successful tomorrow morning. But if things turn out a different way, know that I had an amazing life and left very little left on the table. I have loved an amazingly forgiving woman and will wait for her on the other side.

The Lord bless you and keep you;

the Lord lift his countenance upon you,

and give you peace;

the Lord make his face to shine upon you,

and be gracious unto you.

Amen, amen.

Mister Mac